Dear World,

I am tired of everyone thinking im some thing or someone im not. So for all of you out there that think you know me, here is the REAL, HONEST TO GOD ME...

I hate most animals, on most given days. Yes even baby seals and bambie. Im a monster.
I eat meat and i love it.
I hate drinking water. Its such a boring beverage. 
I don't consider myself fat. Chunky maybe, but i'm COMPLETELY comfortable in my body. Bikini comfortable.
I forgive easily. Maybe too easily.
I believe in God.
I don't have a "religion". I love god. I pray often. And i know that Christ was our redeemer.
I was baptized LDS and i don't follow 90 percent of their views.
I drink socially, and occasionally on weekends.
I used to smoke. 
I have a short fuse, and an even shorter temper. I'm over it pretty damn quick.
I believe in freedom. Freedom to own guns, to get abortions, to worship who and how you want, to marry who you want, and to eat, drink and use what you want.
I think global warming is a joke. 
I recycle. But only because our rented home has a recycle can. If it didn't i wouldn't. That simple.
I occasionally exercise,  but to be god's honest, i would rather eat a peanut butter reeses egg then walk a mile.
I give time outs, groundings, and Butt Spanks when my kids are little shits. I've even smacked a mouth or two.
I cuss like i don't give a shit whose listening, because i honestly don't...
I love ALL my family. Family is who I choose to surround MYSELF with. Through marriage, blood, or other wise.
I never finished high school. I went back when i was 21 to try and finish, but didn't. I want to get my high school diploma. Im only 2.5 credits away.
I sing in the car, the shower, the kitchen, the living room, when im cleaning, when im cooking, and especially when im drinking. No, i can't carry a tune in a bucket, nor would i care to.
If i had to pick cats or dogs, you can bet your biscuits it would be a cat. They tend to leave me the hell alone unless they need something. That's my kind of animal.
I love to get my craft on.
My house is a mess. Always. No exceptions.
I do not kill spiders. Ever. That's a mans job.
No im NOT afraid of snakes. But i will push you in front of a raccoon, shark, spider, or fish to save my own life! And i will do so laughing. 
I would go camping ever freakin weekend if i could.
I am at peace with my sins. I strongly believe it is up to each person to decide how much sin they can live with.
I throw things when im mad. Usually food. Spencer has been the victim of my food fights more then once. He takes it like a champ AND THAT is one reason we are getting married.
I have been homeless.
I have been in foster care.
I have had a many roofs over my heads.
I have run from the police.
I have never been arrested... as of Today lol
I have lied, cheated, and stolen. And because i saw the harm that it did, I no longer tolerate Lying, Cheating, or Stealing.  Call me a hypocrite.
Like everyone on this miserable planet i have had my heart broken, and i've intentionally broken hearts too.Not proud of that but its the truth.
I'm against Illegal immigration. 
I'm all for drug testing to be on well fair.
I drive like a grandma. &!!! I don't give a shit.
I live by: "honor thy father, but ask thy mother."
I respect the shit out of our armed forces.
I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally.
The only things i enjoy cooking were either frozen, or came in a box.
I kill almost everything i plant.

 Got questions, feel free to ask. 

Dear Merissa,

I am so excited that you called yesterday. You seem like such a sweet girl. And its so exciting that i have another sister. Especially one so close to my age, in the same situation im in. Married with kids :) I can't wait to meet you in person. I really want this to work out, and for us to hit it off perfectly. It would be so great to have another sibling that i got to see all the time that enjoyed the same things that my little family enjoys.

I am so sorry about your mom. It sucks that all that is left on your side is Kent. I wish i could be more for you. A person you could really count on and look to for help and support in you and your little families life. I want to be there for you so badly. I can't imagine going through life without a sibling or a mother, Knowing all i had to look forward to was a half assed dad. I'm so sorry sweety.

Its so weird this feeling i have for you. I feel so protective, and compassionate towards you. Like i have known all along you were supposed to be my little sister :) Its exciting and so strangely new at the same time. I want so bad to drive down to where you are and meet you and my niece and nephew. I want to take you guys out to dinner, and go shopping with you, and do all those other girly things. I want to invite you to our camping trip in a few weeks, and to Kollen's birthday party. I want to incorporate you into the family as soon as possible, so i can start catching up with you. I know that would be alot to take in, thats why all this has made it into the "Never Letter" piles.

I'm just so excited to finally meet you. Its been a long time coming!My heart is so full right now :)
Shae

Dear Kent,

You are my biological father. You helped give me life, but Kirk has helped me live life. I haven't wanted to speak to you for years, because i was told that you were a low life. That you got several other woman pregnant while you were with my mom. And for a long time i held that against you and was angry with you.

Im still not sold on you being an adult, and behaving as you should, but after my son lost his Biological father, i thought more and more about you. I realized then that Kollen will never know all the details about his dad. Just what i can remember. I want to know you. I want to give you that chance to show me who you really are. I have taken into account what has been said about you, both negative and kind words. Now i want to hear from you. What the hell happened? Why did you have to hurt our little family? Why didn't you fight harder to be in the kids lives? I just wonder. So many questions that i will probablly never have answered. Regardless, i care about you and hope to learn that you too care about us.
Shae.